From now on, Execution is worship!
- Eric Thomas, ET The Hip Hop Preacher
Once upon a dream
I compared my College life as a professional training center where everything I will learn will be used in my profession. So entering my freshmen in College, a lot of expectation is coming through my mind; not expectation from my Mom, Dad or Family but it is the expectation that I put to myself. I need to excel to be accepted because I really don’t want rejections, in fact I hated it. In my freshmen years, all I that had done is to seek validation because from myself, I reject who I am. In my freshmen, I seek Latin Honors because I know that if I will get it, I will get the validation that I need but God had bigger in mind.
After just two semesters, this dream of having a Latin Honor, came down when this professor gave me a grade that disqualifies me from my dream. I really remember my feeling that time, it is really sick. My passion to excellence is done because I can’t attain the validation I need.
Creating a WHY (purpose)
I almost don’t want to study well when I stumbled to a motivational speaker named Eric Thomas. He said, “Be committed to excellence even if you don’t feel like it because at the end of the day, you will reap what you sow. Don’t be driven by your feelings. You might not see the products of your labor these days. Yes, it is harder but hold on to your faith and keep going”
In my mark of having a specialization subjects, as a Bachelor of Library and Information Science Major, I adapted the philosophy, “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe” and a new purpose had been set to me, to be still a Cum Laude even if it is impossible to make my Mom feel that her sacrifices for me came to something and leave a legacy and inspire people that even if you felt disqualified, miracles do happen. For three straight years, I top my batch while working in the library to have more library experience and sustain my needs as a student. Most of the time, I only have 4 hours of sleep because I will wake up 2-2:30 am just to do my academic requirements and reports and later that day I will still have my work in the library. I got another extra blessing because of handling the position of President in my organization is a challenge for me. This gave me a boost to have co-curricular award in the coming Graduation.
It is really tough for me but with the help of Thank God Its Monday of Eric Thomas, the support of my classmates and the support of the people that care for me, and pure faith that even if it leads to my rock bottom, I just do it.
I still came for my professor that gave me that kind of grade and have a conversation with him to maybe change my grade last-minute and trusting my current professor that it can be changed.
And the announcement for awardees comes, and the answer I got is a no from God. For the second time around, I felt rejected and devastated. Fear and rage came to my mind after I didn’t heard my names to the academic awardees. As I walk away, grief and depression came across me not until my classmates said to me, “Hey your name will still be called, remember your in the co-curricular award. We need to be still out there.” I am really devastated that time because of the academic award rejection but when my classmate said to me “We must celebrate even if you are not a Cum Laude, you still have the Co-curricular award”, I really burst into tears. One-by-one, my classmates hugged and said to me, “It is okay, we got you.” I realized, having them in my life is an award. As a matter of fact, I did not heard my name called because I am busy hugging each one of them; savoring each moment with them.
From this story of mine I have learned this new things:
1. Find your WHY
During my continuous pursuit to excellence, I’ve set up the most important element in doing what a man’s supposed to do: setting up and lighting up your intention for the works that he or she will do. We have established that we must value ourselves first so that we feel valued in the rewards that we will get in the future, now, its all about the WHY!
In setting up our reason, I have learned that its more powerful that your intention will be the value for others. Its like the idea that if you will not do “that job” the other person will not have the kind of dreams that he have. Its not the idea of relying what others will tell to you or depending on other people, it is more of the idea that your dream will contribute so much in the society or there will be selected people that will become motivated to do their dreams because they have saw themselves that its possible because you made it possible. The idea here is “People already know that once the impossible becomes possible because you already done it.” It is all about touching their lives and making them inspired. As Abraham Maslow stated in his Hierarchy of Needs, the highest need is self-actualization in which you inspire others through your works.
In my case, there are two reasons why am I doing this, “The Latin Honors is not for me, its for my Family to touch their lives that all their hard works are paid through the award that they will get through me” and the other one is “When I did this one, students who once have that kind of grade will still hope for the highest grade because of me or even if I will not get it, maybe the University Officials will review its existing policies in granting Latin Honors for students.” These are my WHY!
2. The only comfortable is the uncomfortable
Eric Thomas said in his speech that in terms of our dreams, we must be comfortable in getting uncomfortable. He meant that we must expect that constant change will happen in our lives through the situations that we will face in the future. I have two insights based on what he said:
In being uncomfortable, you learn new things. By being tired most of the time, I learned to make time for priorities, to prune the things that I really don’t need, to invest in my skills, and most of all, improve your weaknesses to strengths. Cataloging had always been my weakness in my subjects because I really don’t understand it when taught to us but thanks to my Student Assistant ship, I learn the right ways.
In being uncomfortable, you will be stronger. At first you will think that the rejections and challenges that you are experiencing is non-sense but later on these big challenges will be relevant to you because you can manage the small ones that might be big for others. You are entrusted with bigger rejections and trials, be thankful, next time you can handle bigger problems and who knows, you might inspire other people through the process.
3. The process is more important than the product
I got this insight from Inky Johnson who have an inspiring story in his life. I learned many things even if I encountered a rejection in the end of the line. I learned to be humble because my classmates bullied me almost all of the time. I learned that relationships are so valuable, you need to let others grow even if it means you are in the last. You see, I might not get what I really wanted but I got this learning insights that will help me on the next stage or my next goal.
I’d really felt rejected, I do, I am nearly in to tears when I am writing this one, but it is time to keep moving, and it is time for starting a new purpose all over-again. I will just waste time when I will still whine. My WHY (reasons)? It is still to get my parents on stage.