At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.
– Maya Angelou
I have a friend in which I regard as a partner. This person is a woman. Yep, I trust her so much just like she do to me before and there are things and ideas that we’ve shared to each other that we’ve never mentioned to other people. We hold each other accountable from feelings, experiences and ideas. We are also leading other people to improve their lives. I admit we don’t know each other. We’re just close because of an event and the sharing that we have done.
When it’s all about values and character
We’ve met nearly past seven months ago, and I got to admit she is physically attractive but I don’t buy it. I just focus on my own but as I know her, I really admire the values that she had and also the strength of character. I like her because of that values and I know deep inside that I will learn more valuable things from this woman of character. So I have the intent to court her last month but as I remember what will happen in the group that we have and also the relationship we have each other, everything stops.
I didn’t think that through
I decided to say it that I like her. I’ve never consulted my mother because she doesn’t want me to have a relationship until College Graduation. But this is the first time that I’ve consulted her about this kind of life and surprisingly she is open about it and she just gave me reminders.
So I think, that’s my Go signal, I said it to her face-to-face in front of her friends publicly. You know what happened? I’ve been rejected! Rejection is not the problem but on how the way I reacted to that rejection. I’ve posted quotes about rejections in my Social Media sites making her feel bad about that decision. So you know what happened? As of today, we’re never the same and I don’t think it will be backed because the damage is done. It’s too fast, too soon and most importantly needy.
The moment, sorry isn’t the perfect word
I’ve said sorry three times; on the third time, its personal and she said “it is okay”. Well, I thought it is okay, we can be partners again or doing the same ole things again, but it’s not; a relationship and a trust broken because of a hasty decision. There are things in life that even we said sorry; the degree of forgiveness is based on the person that we are asking for forgiveness. They might forgive you but old things will never be backed and you got to accept this as part of the consequence or they might give you another chance and start all over again, and old things are there again. Whatever their decision, it’s their decision to forgive you or not, but as of you, be humble to say sorry and be consistent of showing that you are really sorry. My mom trained me in a different way whenever I said sorry, everything will be backed but there are privileges that will be out but I’ve never experienced a broken relationship because of a mistake so this is a major learning insight for me.
Well a while ago as of writing this blog, I’ve given her a personal message confirming if we are still partners because I’m about to talk to her about a certain milestone in my career and I think she is the only one who can give me an advice about this, I am in doubt at first but something is saying to me that if the past is really past, she will reply. But it’s different, she isn’t replying and I see that I am alone, again; without someone else. Trying not to sob or have a tear in my eye, I faced the truth, it’s over, and it will never be backed. This is a failure- forward; I need to learn.
What I learned from this woman
I’ll forever cherish the lessons that this person taught me consciously and unconsciously and these are the following:
Women are people too, they are ought to be respected
I’ve learned that for every woman, there are inspirational stories of character strength and determination. Through the years, I didn’t get this until I men this strong woman. I am about to expand this principle in my future blog.
Giving at its finest
I am not a rich in terms of money. This woman is the only person who treats me with food or shirt. My ego is always swept off by this woman that always leaves me laughing all the time by myself whenever they are gone. She is so generous and I’ve never seen such a woman.
Start then lead
She is also the one to encourage me to start the group that we are leading. I have fear of rejection and she told me unconsciously that rejection must always be bounded with a great cause to be not painful to every person; the power of intentions.
Project, then test the waters
Doing the “I like you” thing is never calculated by me, I just think of the positive side and not seeing what I she rejects me. Next time, facing the consequences of our actions must be seen by ourselves and let it ask ourselves, “Am I willing to face this kind of consequence”
The regarding the feelings of others based on what a person will do. Its placing you in the shoe of the other person.
Loving other people
Regardless of their background or the stories that they have, I’ve learned to love them and accept the way they are. Hugging other people had become my habit to feel that they are loved.
Love life, you aren’t ready!
This is one of the most important I think, I am not ready and I need to take my priorities first. I don’t need one because I have friends and family to share my feelings and ideas for. I need more patience. Finally, I don’t have the money yet; I am not ready for the idea that the woman will always be the one to pay. HAHA
Yes, I have regrets and not little, it’s much and a lots of it. I always recall the good days that we share the good ideas and the time that she blessed me so much but despite of everything happened and even it is tough for me, I will still treat her the way it should be because she ought to be respected just like what I am doing to my other friends. Friends, I challenge you, don’t be bitter but instead, make them feel loved because it’s your principles that you follow and not the feelings which is primary rejections.
I will always regret that decision. Maybe if I just treated her more with respect, maybe things are still the same. Maybe if I just become more patient, things will not fall into this. I need you to learn from this setback of mine; I need you to cherish the now and don’t rush the future. Take more time.
Live out, live up, and fire up!
– Friendship between a man and a woman proven to be impossible? (n.d.). Retrieved December 22, 2015, from http://www.learning-mind.com/friendship-between-a-man-and-a-woman-proven-to-be-impossible/