Every rejections should make you better and should not make you bitter!
- Eric Thomas, TGIM
I told in this blog that I used to check Pick-up Artists sites to become more attractive to ladies. One of the things that got my attention is the term, “reject-proof”. It is said, by availing their product, you will never suffer from rejection (Nice Marketing Strategy Indeed!). And from not so long time ago, I used to believe that rejection can be avoided. I used to believe that with pure practice, you will come to the point that you will become reject-proof. And I am wrong!
The feeling of rejection
Maybe all of the people who are reading this post had already suffered the feeling. I am not just talking about opposite sex relationships, I am also talking about our daily lives: from not taking your idea in a group activity to dismissing you as a person. We all know, it really hurts! It burns! Your idea is not credited or all the hard works that you put forth isn’t given credited. You have the idea then the next part comes…
You let it penetrate you. You let the idea controls and direct your actions. What makes it worst is that you cease to live. You cannot find happiness in little things and you cannot even be grateful to the idea that you are alive, in fact you are questioning life or God, why are you still alive? You start to question your abilities, your skills, or the money that you have, your physical characteristics, the people around you and even you! Then, you doubt yourself. From every challenges, you will start to doubt yourself because of that one situation, you will even say “I am not good at writing” where in fact you already produced a number of books, or “I am not good at playing music” where in fact you already composed many song piece. And because you cannot sustain your passion, and you doubt yourself, your self-esteem drops. You let that situation enters in your mind.
I know the feeling! I’ve been there, I’ve done that! Yesterday, I let it penetrate and let me dictate who I am, but now, when rejection starts, I’ll just say, you can’t eat me alive because I’ll be the one who will eat you.
Reject to be rejected by yourself
Brother Obet Cabrillas, our Feast Builder here in Manila, once said that in terms of rejection, reject the idea of rejection! I have another insight, refuse to be rejected by yourself! Do not let rejection enter to your system! Do not let rejection said to you that you are a failure, that you can’t be something! Greatness is upon you: every single cell had been created in a great process.
So how can we reject the idea of rejection of ourselves, one idea is take that idea as a form of learning. Learn from the insights that the situation teaches you. Learn from the lessons that give it to you because if you will not learn from that situation, there is a big chance that you will have the same result from the same situation. That’s why John Maxwell said, failures are the implication that we can start intelligently all over again! Learn and get everything because as one poem said, if you failed to learn from a rejection or a failure, that is the time that you are a failure! So, draw or write your next plans and strategies based from the learning insights that you had in the rejection phase. Greatness is upon you, its time for you to act like it!
Then, when you learn, you will able to change your mindset towards the situation. You will feel like there is bigger and best to come from the what you think best. Are you not excited? You will feel more blessed. You will feel more wonderful. You will feel more grateful from the next situation that you will face. Adjust your mindset, there is something bigger, something greater, and its time for you to claim it!
So what if I fail over-and-over again?
Re-establish your vision: something greater, something bigger that every time you think about it, you think its impossible after that, establish Mental Toughness! I want you to establish these two things because the bigger the dream, expect that in the process little by little, less people will believe in your dream and maybe the day will come that there will be none. You got to have the appetite of a Beast, big and you got to be unsatisfied with temporary pleasures, you got to have a bigger hunger than that! Appetite and hunger must have a big correlation!
Rejection has a feeling!
I want you to respect yourself when you are rejected by feeling the feelings that you have when you are rejected. I remember the day that my adviser in our organization let me reflect on my wrong doings in the organization, I felt bad and from out-of-nowhere, tears fell in my eye and I started to cry. I got to admit, I do not want to be seen while crying but my professor let me cry, and take note, its not sobbing, its whining, crying out loud. As I remember that, I remember that its the way I feel respected. Letting me feel the emotion. Now, feel the emotion! If you are angry, feel it and channel it in productive means! If you are sad, then be sad! Nobody is inhibiting you! Respect yourself! If you want to cry, do not just sob, do what i have done, whine! Cry out loud! Then after that, get back-up! Make sure when you are finished, its done! Do not go back and recall the situation! Most of the people I knew are recalling the situation that’s why they are not moving on with their lives. And take note, a feeling must have a duration, I’ll tell you the longest: 3 hours! After that, push yourself to step up again and push!
Feelings are meant to express and not to be stocked up! So feel the feeling! (To precisely know to feel the feeling, refer in this blog)
Yes, I am wrong! Rejections will always happen because it makes us humble that we are not perfect. It reminds us that there is always room for improvement! It reminds us that there are more great ideas and things waiting to be conquered. It will always be there because it filters us out on how bad do we want our dreams. It filters our will; it filters our convictions and our intentions! Rejection is part of life and if there is no rejection and all things are compatible, O Lord, how will the world would it be?
Great people suffered rejections: J.K. Rowling, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Lionel Messi, Steve Jobs, and even Jesus Christ! But they didn’t let that rejection dictate who they are because they know themselves that “my will is greater than that rejection” or “my dream is greater than that rejection”
I want you to continually push and commit yourself to excellence of life! It will be hard and rejections is part of the hard but later you will discover that rejections are seeds of a bountiful harvest of greatness! As stated by Eric Thomas, let rejections make you stronger, let rejections make you faster, let reject let rejections make you hungrier. Don’t let it break you! A no is not the end, its just a new chapter!
There is no such thing as reject-proof, there is only stupid-proof!
You are amazing! Greatness is you! Greatness is in you! Greatness is upon you! Act like it!
Fail Forward, Power up, Fire up!