Quitting should never in our vocabulary!

“Expectations might give us disappointments but disappointments gives a step towards our dream.”

The past months had been challenging for me, especially the past week. The aftermath of the failed dreams I mentioned from the past blog had been so painful for me to the point it sucks my motivation to dream again. It felt like that every time I started to dream, it leaves me the voice of doubt telling me “you will never achieve that.”

It has been so painful that I started to feel I became stagnant in my workplace; I am having the feeling of I am just working for money and I failed to be excited if payday is not near. It felt like an eternity every time I wait for the pay check, not doing what I supposed to do.

You see, I became hopeless as I said on the previous blog. I started to think that maybe God doesn’t want the best for me because everything is falling down. I understand that a big dream requires a huge effort but every time I am putting the effort, it is still not connecting anything. I started to think maybe something is really wrong with me and I do not deserve things.

Dreaming again

At one point a very special person said to me while we are having our dinner and saying these things to her, she just said to me “When you didn’t fulfill your dreams, go make another one because I am counting on you” and the statement gave me chills.

A thought came into my mind, whoa she counts on me! I might fail her if I started to fall and not dream again. Thank God for this person because she just told me the way on how I can bounce back from the series of defeats.

Dream, chase, repeat!

A dream is a backbone of a life of a person. Inhibiting a person to dream is like taking the life of a person. A dream is most of the time the purpose of another person. It directs our motives, our actions, our emotions, and other similar things. It becomes our destination; arriving there is a sense of fulfillment.

Some people are afraid to dream because they are thinking “expectations will always lead to disappointments” but what I realized from that given situation is inhibiting ourselves in dreaming is a selfish act because sometimes it is not “the dream” that gives the inspiration to other people but rather our courage to dream and to chase that dream, no matter how big or small.

When you permit yourself to dream bigger, you are also permitting other people to dream for them. When you’re giving yourself a dream, you’re making other people create their own dream. When you push yourself to chase towards that dream, you are letting other people chase their dream also. And what is powerful? Making your dreams a reality, saying to them it is possible: that their dream can be turned into reality, they are more motivated to continue and finish it.

So what now?

Currently, I am not afraid to dream again; knowing that a person/people is depending on me is enough. They become an integral part of my reason to keep going. So I dare you, get up, create another dream and chase it because other people is depending on you!

Making you believe again,

Carlo

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2016 will be a wrap!

It seems like yesterday that I am worrying about my on-the-job training as a senior college student; worrying my grades, my future job and what is sealed for me in the future and today, I am about to wrap up my lessons and experiences from this past year.

This year had been the most tragic year of my life (as of now), a bunch of disappointments, failures, and unclaimed goals but there are things that needs to be grateful for. I will highlight the three most down moments and three moments that blessed my life this 2016. Some blogger might just writing there own most successful moments of the year only but I have decided to include also the tragic moments not to to make you feel worst about life, neither it is just all about the most disappointing moments of my life but rather to highlight what I’ve learned from those situations.

The following stories are the moments that I am grateful for this year:

1. Finishing my College with a Bachelor of Library and Information Science (BLIS) Degree plus a Service Award for serving our school organization.

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Man, this is one of the things that I am really grateful for. I got to be honest, I thought that having the top position in an organization is easy, until I tasted this position. Being a Vice-President of one organization and being the over-all President is quite dead serious. I thought I got everything I need to lead the two organization but no, I am about to learn just the basics. Handling the said positions gave me sleepless nights and people stress.

From those pressures and stress,  I’ve learned that handling higher positions had a higher recognition but it requires a lot of responsibilities which sometimes includes a 7-day workweek; a leader must accept this kind of responsibilities 24/7.  Having this distinction in terms of service is the spring board that I need to develop my leadership traits and qualities in the professional field furthermore some administrators might look at me as a potential leader for their organization.

Aside from having a distinction, I am really grateful for having the said degree. To tell it honestly, being a librarian is not the first profession that I’ve chosen to take. It is a long story why I end up in this degree but I think it is just God’s direction. What I like to be someday is to be a teacher in the subject that I really like the most, social studies. But the way of God persists and I end up taking the Librarian’s Program in a University which primarily produces the country’s next teachers namely, Philippine Normal University. What I don’t know is that the librarian’s program in this university has this specialty of being a double degree graduate, one having a degree of librarian and the other one is being a teacher in the area of social studies. It is like the graduates in my school of my program are not just professional librarians but they are also professional teachers in the area of social studies. This is a big blessing that I earned my degree in this school because I got what I want to be while giving me more opportunities to serve.

2. Being employed as a school librarian.

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Delivering a staff development report with my colleagues

After graduating and taking a degree, basically all of the graduates are eager to have a job and help their respective families and not being different from the fresh graduates, I am also one of them. I am determined to find an institution in which it will teach me how to be a great librarian. Basically, I have told my story on how miraculously I had been employed in this institution through another blog but I want to highlight what I am grateful for of being employed in this institution.

First, I have a great mentor. I will not tell her name but she is one of the premiere school librarians in the country. She is the one of the people whom created a standard which all the students in the profession must be familiar to. Furthermore, she is very particular in terms of paper works and also reports that every librarian must know how to do and what makes me intimidated by her is that she is the mentor of my professor at the school that I’ve graduated to. Yes I got to be honest, sometimes I get tired of the things that she requires us to do but as the great quote said “No pain, no gain.”

And the other one is the working environment. There are tons of work, even if teachers used to say that librarians doesn’t do something in the library. A pile of professional works must be done plus the pressure of showing the value of the librarians in the school community are enough pressure for a librarian like me. Aside from that, the said school that I am working to is international competitive in terms of ISO Accreditation and other local accreditation agencies. Yes, there are still insufficiency in other things and some of them will test your work ethic and your personal values but the chance to learn and to grow from this organization is what I always stick unto my mind. No pressures, no diamonds.

3. Passing the Librarians Licensure Examination (LLE)

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My name included in  the list of passers in the Librarian’s Licensure Examination 

I think this is the highlight of my year! From entering college the very first day, passing the licensure examination is what every student in our University had in mind. It is only in the Philippines that a librarian is recognized as a professional in terms of legal basis that’s why we have this licensure examination to legally practice what we’ve learned during college.

Being a licensed librarian is everything and having the license is a sense of fulfillment that every blood, sweat, and tears that you’ve exerted during college is worth it. The license gives me more opportunities to learn more about myself, my capabilities, and how will I serve humanity better.

The following are my major disappointments of this year:

1. Not being in a Latin Honor in the graduation year

I am a goal-mindset person; before the start of every year, I am setting myself on what I need to achieve and I meditate on the thoughts until I become obsessed about it which means I will do everything to achieve that goal which makes me prone to depression. I’ve told you the story from a different blog (Walk on) on how devastating this for me. I’ve been in the Dean’s Lister for 4 consecutive years just to make me feel deserve to this kind of award and when the disappointment comes, man I don’t know what to do. The feeling of unfair crossed my mind.

2. A failed relationship

Just after the recent disappointment which is not graduating in the so-called “cream of the crop” of the batch, this girl came. I thought things will be alright, I thought this is a blessing in disguise until things happen, we fell apart. I don’t want to put details on how we met, how I fell in love with her, and how we end up. I am deeply in love with this woman and I don’t know if she has the slightest idea of that love. Just like an ordinary relationship, I put not just the minimum effort but the extra effort just to keep her but still, there are things that we cannot really control.

3. Not topping the Librarians Licensure Examination

As I am grateful for the license that I have earned, it is the other way around in terms of the results that I am expecting. Because of my failed pursuit in terms of my Latin Honors, I realigned my goal for having at least the top of the Licensure Examinations, thinking that I can make the people who rejected me, wrong for their decision of not including me in the awards.

The examination was September 20-21, 2016 and I started my review for the board examinations right after my graduation. I started reading what is needed to review, have the reviewers that I needed to have, scheduled the time of reviews and strategically creating reviewers just to have my expectation. Everybody is expecting especially my classmates because I consistently made  the Dean’s Lister  and maybe my professors.But is not the results that I’ve got.


So what I learned from those failures?

  1. Your plans are so small compared to what God had in mind.
  2. Yes, expectation might lead to disappointment but the courage to dream is more important than being in the comfort zone.
  3. Don’t look your feelings, look on the things that you learned along the way.
  4. “The journey is as important as the destination.”
  5. Don’t let a situation break you or un-motivate you but instead let it fuel you.

I got to be honest, on the last quarter of the year, life is so much to handle. It is really been a struggle because I look too much on disappointments and not on my blessings. It tends to suck my energy all the time and there are times that I am not happy on what I am doing. I stop my devotional time and start doing unproductive things; I even stop writing for this blog because I don’t feel like my efforts are answered and it is appreciated.

But today, as I end my 2016. It’s new things! It’s new perspective and it’s time to challenge our routines and the bad habits that we formed this 2016.

It is time to move forward! Welcome to your year, 2017!

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To fight or to let go?

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. “

– Margaret Thatcher

Cellphones had been an essential personal item of a person in this generation because unlike the past years, it can just give you a communication in a way of texting and calling; today it is a whole different story. Cellphones today is the portable entertainment device from texting and calling to watching movies, playing games, listening to music, etc.; which means the perfect time killer. Aside from that, due to the trends in technology, phones had been also the companion of people for increasing their productivity in work: from note taking, scheduling or tracking of outputs.

With an entertainment, communication, and productivity advantage, who doesn’t want a good phone? 🙂

With these reasons, I’ve bought my first smartphone in the product of my salaries from being a Student Assistant during my Second Year College and man; I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I am that time because that phone had been my first investment.

In every walk of life in the past, this phone had been my companion, from killing a dead time, texting different people, applying to a job, being grateful for receiving an award or trying to console a person, and even courting and being rejected by a girl. Totally, the phone had been that remarkable.

And the past days had been rough for my phone, it is starting to malfunction like it is starting to say goodbye and trying to do a last ride. There is a point that I’ve thrown my phone because of its malfunctioning. But I am trying to revive it, fixing here it and there, and tweaking programs.

And as I write this article, it finally said goodbye to me; this time when it is not in my budget to buy a new one and this time when there are huge expenses and salary deductions. But, I don’t have a choice but to move forward and buy a new one.

You let it burn you

This blog is not about the phone (just in case you are starting to think it is). I’m not trying to say that when your phone is malfunctioning, try to throw it and voila, it is repaired. No!

What I am trying to say is that there will be more benefit when we let go on some things and people in our lives; things and people that inspires us to change for the better, things and people that intoxicates us, things and people that destroys our lives, and even things and people that will just harm us.

Sometimes, we are so attached to the idea that this person had been so much time with me and he or she had been with me in every walks of life or even to the idea that I cannot leave this person because I know he or she is the one, not knowing that we are trying to deny the destructive part. We are trying to ignore what we know because we just want to be saved from the hurt of pruning and from the hurt of “no one will ever love me” statement.

So what happens when we are trying to ignore? It burns us, it destroys us, it gives us that “heavy feeling” by worrying so much. I remember when I am in the exam room during my board exams, you can really feel the tension and the heavy feeling with every person seated next to each other.

Let it be!

Let go! Not for the memories or for the person, let go because it is what is best for you! Don’t let the situation, the person, or even that thing write your life. Instead, handle the situation, take the necessary responsibility, learn from the mistakes, and move forward. Only you can do that, not your mama, not your papa, not that person, not that thing or situation, not your dog, it is only you!

Take responsibility; blame you because what is happening is based from your personal choice. On the first place you made that choice because you accepted everything what will happen. Taking responsibility is learning and learning is growing as a person.

If things or people becomes toxic, you need to detach forever or even for a while to rethink if the battle is worth it. So what if it is worth the shot? Control what you can control!

Re-evaluation: Control what you can control!

I’ve remembered what Inky Johnson said during a speech, “It is not more in the outcome, and it is more in the process.” We need to trust the process. Yes, not all outcomes will be followed based on what we really expect but what we cannot miss is the learning during the expectation time.

Yes, expect but do the equal effort and have the right attitude. When you expect bigger things, you need to do extra effort. The attitude is don’t do it for the sake of the end, do those things because you know you will learn from it. Are you trying to save that phone? Man, fix that first: do some tweaking or factory resets. Are you trying to save a broken relationship? Regain your position, do the effort. Have extra sweetness! Have extra humility! Have extra forgiveness! Have extra love! Are you trying to save money for the future? Have extra savings! Have extra effort in the temptation of spending! Have extra effort in sacrificing! Are you trying to pass an exam? Have extra time reading or studying! It is said that whatever the situation is, they might be smarter, they might be prideful, or it so broken, don’t be outworked! Refuse not to give your contribution! Don’t do it tomorrow, don’t do it next week or next year because you will not fix what is broken yesterday, you have to do it today! Some people said to me “Hey man don’t expect, the outcome might not equal to your expectation.” but they don’t know what my work ethic is, they don’t know what my capability in doing more or extra is!

What is not in your control?

After doing what is necessary, you let God move! Miracles cannot happen when you are moving your moves all the time. You let it go! If it is still broken, then you let go! As long you know you kept doing what is best to rebuild what is lost, there will be a time that you have to surrender. If a no is no or a wait is a wait then let it be. But never forget to reflect and learn 🙂

So what know? You fight or you learn?

I am a firm believer that there is wisdom on both ends, either you fight the battle or you just accept what it is. That’s why when you are fighting, persistence and perseverance is the name. But life is a battle, whatever you will choose you will still be having a good fight with life because I know that every one of us is a warrior, in the inside and the outside! 🙂

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The decision to let go

FEEL THEN HEAL! Emotional pain lasts for only 10-20 mins, anything longer is actually self inflicted by over thinking, making things worse.

– Daddy Obet Cabrillas, Via Twitter

I’ve been consistently doing things and being productive the past weeks: I’ve always followed my daily routines including studying the bible, reading self-help books for an hour and even spending time with God and praying but after a recent disappointment, life starting to be a trash again. Everything stops, from what I’ve always followed routine and I hate to say this, my prayers from being grateful turns to questioning. Recently, life punches me in the mouth and I’ve suffered a knock down.

For the past three weeks consecutively, it is very hard to continue especially when you lose every motivation in your body. From being productive and inspired weeks, it turns out the other way around.

Until, the past days, I’ve began to observe my life again, I realized that I’ve spend too much time feeling sorry for what happened; regretting and missing every happy moments while failing to live in the present. I’ve realized that I’ve become too attached to and failed to make a decision to move on. I’ve realized that I’ve let myself down too much that I’ve left my values and principles behind the process. For the past three weeks, I’ve become addicted to the feeling of regret, depression, and loss where in fact, happiness had been always the choice.

In this situation, what I’ve learned is there are times, life will try us and even though we thought we are strong enough to fight these battles, we will realize, we aren’t strong enough to endure everything but instead, our true strength is about to unveil. Life experience is indeed progressive: there are certain levels of difficulty.

Furthermore, emotion can really be a tricky one. We can choose to dwell or to leave the bad emotion as it is. Clinging to a bad emotion is very destructive to a person because regret, depression, and other stuff are hurting us in the inside. As the quote above indicates, it can only elapse from 10-20 minutes, more than that, it is self-destructive.

Finally, have less emotional attachment. I’ve learned that everything goes and no one, nothing is my property or all of the plans that we set can happen; everything is in the plan of God, we just need to pray before every move and everything.

As a conclusion I want to share what I’ve done in the end:

As I’ve realized this stuff, I’ve made the firm decision; it is time to move on. I need to let this monkey out of my back. I need to learn the lessons which recurs over-and-over the hard way this time. Besides, I am tired of over-thinking of the future, worrying, having regrets, and maybe crying. It is time to get back up and time to walk on and just surrender everything to God because He is the only one who knew what really the cause is and what is the best for me.

 

Now, live today, as if it is your last!

 

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It is desperation time!

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The Western Conference Finals Game 7: Thunders Vs. Warriors

“When you are in the point of desperation in which you don’t have any choice, courage comes in”

— Daddy Obet Cabrillas, Feast Builder

 

Golden State Warriors and Oklahoma City Thunders: Western Conference Finals

I really love sports especially basketball. I just not enjoy watching it on the television but also playing it myself. I have couple friends who taught me how to play; well don’t expect me like Stephen Curry nailing three-point-jumpers, like it was just throwing a paper in the trash can (well that’s pretty hard too) or like Kevin Durant and Lebron James making some crazy dunks; I ain’t like that bro. I am just playing for the purpose of enjoying the game and not making basketball as my profession.

I am not a whole Golden Warriors fan but I am more of a fan of Stephen Curry because I adore his faith in God and I am seeing his faith put into action by giving his best every play and watching the games of Golden State Warriors these past days, gave me a life insight.

We all know that these defending NBA Champions had been from a 3-1 deficit in a best-of-7 games for the Western Conference Finals whereas a one lose will mean that the season will be over for them and somebody will took their place as the new NBA Champions. And I’ve seen from my two eyes that they didn’t give up even if it is hopeless.

The game 6 and game 7 is the most critical game for the Warriors because it is a do-or-die. The thing is, seeing the first half of these two games especially the game 6, I thought that the Warrior’s season is a wrap, but no; miracles started happening on the second half of the two games. They always find a way to bounce back from the deficit, that’s why for a basketball fan, it is very electrifying to watch the past two games of the Western Conference Finals and in the end, Warriors will face the Cavaliers again in the NBA Finals.

Now, that’s desperate!

What I learned from this basketball game is really priceless because it gives us an idea of desperation. Whoa! Just because the word is desperate it does mean that it is negative but no. That is negative desperation, in which you are hurting physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. and in the end you will not gain any good benefit from it in the end. But when we apply the word desperation towards our dreams like the board exams, like having a flat 1.00 or 4.00 in our grades, or seeing that money in our bank accounts, whoa, I don’t know what can happen!

Just like what I’ve seen in the Warriors and Thunders game, I’ve sensed the desperation in the part of the Warriors. Especially Klay thompson (got to give the guy a credit) he is not afraid to shot in the three-point-line even if it is too far or it isn’t sure it can hit the net; it takes a lot of guts and confidence but as you see, he needs to shot that three-pointers to get the lead. They will not come from behind if he will not step up for the game.

You see when you don’t have a choice but to reach your dream; when you don’t have a choice but to actually nail the nails in the coffins of your dreams. Desperation starts and most of the time, this desperation produces courage; that you don’t care what may happen to you or what kind of things or persons you will encounter, as long as you get to that dream.

How you produce good desperation?

Yes, most of us create desperation in beating deadlines; kind of our bad habit, creating adrenaline rushes when it is so close only to find out the time isn’t enough to produce quality works. So the questions might be, “so how you will do it?”

Simple, just recheck your reasons why you do things. You cannot get any further if you don’t have the “why” or the reasons why you do it.

Want to have a tip? The best reason you can have is to inspire! Inspire people that when they see you done it, they will have the inspiration to do it themselves. I think that it is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever set up in my mind. I’m doing things not for money, fame, or any material things but I want to inspire people that they can do it even if it is hard, they will eventually pass through.

Concluding words

Yep, it is hard! Yep, it is complicated! Yep, sometimes you will fall and sometimes you will lose! But remain committed, remain desperate, and remain working for your dreams because armed with good reasons, you can breakthrough out of that barrier and you can shine bright like a diamond. And even circumstances break you, have the mentality of desperation that in the end you will always win!

Stand up! You are God’s Powerful Champion!

Image Credits

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What a prayer can do? (1st Anniversary Article)

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one

– Bruce Lee

Recently, I have been through a tough and major disappointment in my life. I am really down in that moment until yesterday, a major decision of my life is about to happen…

As a fresh graduate, everybody’s first priority is to have their first job.

Recently I applied to a school in which I have my On-the-job training. I applied to the vacant position because, my first passion is to be a school librarian and based from my training there, the kids and the culture their really touches my heart. As a graduate of Catholic School during High School days, I’ve known my faith will be strengthened in that school. I’ve always waited to the call of this institution.

However, my College professor, let me know that his former employer is looking for new batch of librarians. As my professor said, he was trained in that school and all of his knowledge is from that institution. He also added that the mentor there is excellent.

As a fresh graduate, I am not focusing on the salary, I am more focused on how will I learn and how that institution will help me review on the upcoming board examinations.

Yesterday, the school were my college professor had been, appointed me to have my psychological exam and also the preliminary interview. And as I traveled to the school, the school were I have my OJT, texted me and scheduled me also that day for the preliminary interview.

Major decision

It is really a tough decision. I don’t know what to choose. I am really confused that time. Both are offering good learning experience and I think both have good pay. On that day, I was informed that the results of the psychological exam might be on the next day or the week after next week. The other school said to me that they can release the results of my exam on the next week, and unlike the other one, this school can hire me as early as the last week of April.

For this time, as I go home, about to make a life-turning decision, I just prayed: “Lord, please give me the school that will help me to my dreams, the school that will keep me professionally challenged and most of all, that I can have a great mentor. You know my dreams oh God, your will be done” For almost an hour, this is all the content of my prayers, replayed all-over-again. And this time, I am seriously considering the one I have my OJT because I have seen greater opportunities to grow that library and I don’t know if I passed the exam because of the level of difficulty especially numerical ability, aside from that it is time-pressured.

Then, God answers…

As I head back home and got a rest, someone texted me. And as the message reveals, it just said “I got the results of your exams: congratulations, you’ve made it! I will be recommending you for final interview and I assure you, you will be part of the team”

And as I was like jumping or something! I am near to being hired. Thanks to God.

What can a prayer can do?

  1. The impossible becomes possible.

I have seen this over-and-over again especially when I am attending Feast Manila.  In my off-campus, I am always on the half chance criteria on attending every Friday, but no. I don’t have any absences. I know that if it is the will of God and if it will be the best for you, there will always be a way.

  1. Prayers are not just gainers, it is also for losing.

Norman Vincent Peale, in his book Positive thinking in a time like this, emphasizes this point. When we are in prayer, we lose many things most of the time: our depression, our fears, our doubting, the confusion that we are having, and the other negative feelings that we are having. I remembered what Einstein said that evil is the absence of God within ourselves. When we pray to God and seek Him, we tend to lose focus on the problem for a while to rest our mind; and when we are rejuvenated, then that is the only time that we can productively face the problem by thinking straight.

  1. Meditation

The basis of prayer is to seek the presence of God. Basically, we forgot this idea because all we have done is to gain and ask most of the time. But many churches are teaching that sometimes just think about God and you will be fine. Catholic Churches have this kind of adoration chapel that all you have to do is to adore the Eucharist and monks have this kind of way of praying that all they have to do is to clear their mind.

Basically, it is praying; meditating unto the highest form, God.

Conclusion:

I don’t know what you are doing. Maybe you are not considering it as a prayer. That’s fine. But keep going because it will help you unto the end.

With this anniversary article, I am just wanted to thank you to all the people who continually read unto this blog! May the rest of your life be the best of your life!

 

 

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Walk on (Past the point of no return)

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From now on, Execution is worship!

  • Eric Thomas, ET The Hip Hop Preacher

Once upon a dream

I compared my College life as a professional training center where everything I will learn will be used in my profession. So entering my freshmen in College, a lot of expectation is coming through my mind; not expectation from my Mom, Dad or Family but it is the expectation that I put to myself. I need to excel to be accepted because I really don’t want rejections, in fact I hated it. In my freshmen years, all I that had done is to seek validation because from myself, I reject who I am. In my freshmen, I seek Latin Honors because I know that if I will get it, I will get the validation that I need but God had bigger in mind.

Devastated

After just two semesters, this dream of having a Latin Honor, came down when this professor gave me a grade that disqualifies me from my dream. I really remember my feeling that time, it is really sick. My passion to excellence is done because I can’t attain the validation I need.

Creating a WHY (purpose)

I almost don’t want to study well when I stumbled to a motivational speaker named Eric Thomas. He said, “Be committed to excellence even if you don’t feel like it because at the end of the day, you will reap what you sow. Don’t be driven by your feelings. You might not see the products of your labor these days. Yes, it is harder but hold on to your faith and keep going

In my mark of having a specialization subjects, as a Bachelor of Library and Information Science Major, I adapted the philosophy, “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe” and a new purpose had been set to me, to be still a Cum Laude even if it is impossible to make my Mom feel that her sacrifices for me came to something and leave a legacy and inspire people that even if you felt disqualified, miracles do happen. For three straight years, I top my  batch while working in the library to have more library experience and sustain my needs as a student. Most of the time, I only have 4 hours of sleep because I will wake up 2-2:30 am just to do my academic requirements and reports and later that day I will still have my work in the library. I got another extra blessing because of handling the position of President in my organization is a challenge for me. This gave me a boost to have co-curricular award in the coming Graduation.

It is really tough for me but with the help of Thank God Its Monday of Eric Thomas, the support of my classmates and the support of the people that care for me, and pure faith that even if it leads to my rock bottom, I just do it.

I still came for my professor that gave me that kind of grade and have a conversation with him to maybe change my grade last-minute and trusting my current professor that it can be changed.

Announcement

And the announcement for awardees comes, and the answer I got is a no from God. For the second time around, I felt rejected and devastated. Fear and rage came to my mind after I didn’t heard my names to the academic awardees. As I walk away, grief and depression came across me not until my classmates said to me, “Hey your name will still be called, remember your in the co-curricular award. We need to be still out there.” I am really devastated that time because of the academic award rejection but when my classmate said to me “We must celebrate even if you are not a Cum Laude, you still have the Co-curricular award”, I really burst into tears. One-by-one, my classmates hugged and said to me, “It is okay, we got you.” I realized, having them in my life is an award. As a matter of fact, I did not heard my name called because I am busy hugging each one of them; savoring each moment with them.

From this story of mine I have learned this new things:

1. Find your WHY

During my continuous pursuit to excellence, I’ve set up the most important element in doing what a man’s supposed to do: setting up and lighting up your intention for the works that he or she will do. We have established that we must value ourselves first so that we feel valued in the rewards that we will get in the future, now, its all about the WHY!

In setting up our reason, I have learned that its more powerful that your intention will be the value for others. Its like the idea that if you will not do “that job” the other person will not have the kind of dreams that he have. Its not the idea of relying what others will tell to you or depending on other people, it is more of the idea that your dream will contribute so much in the society or there will be selected people that will become motivated to do their dreams because they have saw themselves that its possible because you made it possible. The idea here is “People already know that once the impossible becomes possible because you already done it.” It is all about touching their lives and making them inspired. As Abraham Maslow stated in his Hierarchy of Needs, the highest need is self-actualization in which you inspire others through your works.

In my case, there are two reasons why am I doing this, “The Latin Honors is not for me, its for my Family to touch their lives that all their hard works are paid through the award that they will get through me” and the other one is “When I did this one, students who once have that kind of grade will still hope for the highest grade because of me or even if I will not get it, maybe the University Officials will review its existing policies in granting Latin Honors for students.” These are my WHY!

2. The only comfortable is the uncomfortable

Eric Thomas said in his speech that in terms of our dreams, we must be comfortable in getting uncomfortable. He meant that we must expect that constant change will happen in our lives through the situations that we will face in the future. I have two insights based on what he said:

In being uncomfortable, you learn new things. By being tired most of the time, I learned to make time for priorities, to prune the things that I really don’t need, to invest in my skills, and most of all, improve your weaknesses to strengths. Cataloging had always been my weakness in my subjects because I really don’t understand it when taught to us but thanks to my Student Assistant ship, I learn the right ways.

In being uncomfortable, you will be stronger. At first you will think that the rejections and challenges that you are experiencing is non-sense but later on these big challenges will be relevant to you because you can manage the small ones that might be big for others. You are entrusted with bigger rejections and trials, be thankful, next time you can handle bigger problems and who knows, you might inspire other people through the process.

3. The process is more important than the product

I got this insight from Inky Johnson who have an inspiring story in his life. I learned many things  even if I encountered a rejection in the end of the line. I learned to be humble because my classmates bullied me almost all of the time. I learned that relationships are so valuable, you need to let others grow even if it means you are in the last. You see, I might not get what I really wanted but I got this learning insights that will help me on the next stage or my next goal.

Final Words

I’d really felt rejected, I do, I am nearly in to tears when I am writing this one, but it is time to keep moving, and it is time for starting a new purpose all over-again. I will just waste time when I will still whine. My WHY (reasons)? It is still to get my parents on stage.

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